Sample Email for Home Improvement – How to Get Clients for Your Business

Whether you’ve got a home renovation project to undertake or are simply looking to switch jobs, writing an effective email pitch can prove to be quite the challenge. After all, you don’t want to seem like a spammer, do you? Fortunately, there’s an easy way to write an email that’ll make even the toughest critic give you a thumbs up! Let’s take a look at how you can use email marketing to your advantage, shall we?

Personalise The Subject Line

When writing subject lines for your emails, be as creative as possible while still keeping within the realms of good email etiquette. For example, let’s say you’re selling kitchenware and you’ve got a promo code for one of your favorite kitchen stores. Instead of just blasting out a regular ol’ coupon email with the subject line “Coupon: Get 10% off your next order from this site!”, you can try out some different tactics. One idea could be to personalise the email a bit by including a quote or a funny story that relates to the person you’re emailing. For example, you could write:

  • “My favourite store is [name] and they’re having a sale on their products! I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to purchase a [product] and with your coupon code I’ll get 10% off my order.”
  • “Last year alone, I spent over $1000 on kitchen appliances and utensils. I couldn’t believe it when I counted how much money I actually spent on cooking and eating in my own home. Between grocery shopping, cooking class fees, and new appliances, my wallet was definitely drained. I was considering giving up my dream of becoming the next Masterchef when I came across your coupon code. Thanks to your generous offer, I was able to limit my expenditures and purchase what I need without blowing my budget.”
  • “I’m passionate about traveling and discovering new cultures and cuisine. Your product features some unique and trendy design that allows me to cook various dishes from all over the world. I’m looking forward to trying out some of your specialty items when I get back home from my upcoming trip to Thailand!”
  • “I’ve been dreaming of owning a proper grill ever since I can remember. Your new product line features some amazing designs that make it stand out among the rest. I love how each piece is named after a different type of chicken due to its distinct look and flavour. Thanks to your generous offer, I’ll be able to make my dream of having my very own BBQ grill come true.”

Notice how each subject line is personalised to the person receiving it. In this way, you’re not simply advertising a product to anyone who gets on your list. You’re also ensuring they’ll read your pitch with interest, as it relates to them. In the example above, we’ve used the individual’s name rather than their email address. However, you can use the person’s first name and last name if you’d like. Once you’ve got a personalised subject line, you can prepare to write an engaging email pitch.

Create A Compelling Opening

The opening paragraph of your email is the first part of your email pitch that your reader will see. It’s therefore incredibly important that you set the pace and tone of your correspondence right from the beginning. To do this, you’re going to want to use a combination of the following:

  • Statistics about your product or service
  • Metaphors or analogies relating to your product or service
  • A short anecdote about a real person who uses or is using your product or service
  • A short story about your product or service.
  • A challenge or a call to action

Let’s take a look at each item individually.

1. Statistics About Your Product Or Service

If you’ve read up to this point without taking out your ear buds and listening to some smooth jazz, congrats! You’re probably wondering what all this stat stuff means and how it’s relevant to what you do. Well, you may not need to ask because statistics about your product or service are likely to appear in every pitch you write. After all, if you’re pitching a kitchen appliances company, you’ll need to know everything from how many people are using your product, to how much they love it, to how much they’ll pay for it. Moreover, you may need to know about other brands in case your product isn’t popular or if it is but the client still wants something different. Remember, marketing people love numbers so this is likely to appear at least once in your email pitch. In case you want to appear more professional, you can use a tool like MailChimp to generate random data about how many people opened your email, how many clicked on a particular link or filled out a form, and so on. With this type of information, you can make better business decisions and move towards growth.

2. Metaphors Or Analogies Relating To Your Product Or Service

Just as with the opening paragraph of your email, the second part of your email pitch is where you state the reasons why your product or service is superior to the competition. In other words, you’ll want to use analogies or metaphors to make your case. Let’s take a look at some examples.

  • “[Name], the brand you’ll find at [major store]” is the best because…
  • [Name] is the best because…
  • “[Brand] makes [product or service] easier to use because…”

Metaphors and analogies can be incredibly powerful in convincing potential customers to try out your product or service. Moreover, you can use these tools to your advantage by drawing comparisons between your product or service and other brands or items. For example, you can write:

  • “Your [product or service] allows you to be more relaxed when cooking because it makes the entire process seem less stressful. While [brand name] can be highly effective when used in combination with other appliances, it still lacks the simplicity of design and ease of use that your product offers.”
  • “Your company provides a safe and sustainable alternative to plastic bags. Many people are trying to avoid toxins as much as they can when buying household items so your product appeals to this audience.”
  • “Let’s be honest, no one wants to eat the same plain old food all the time, right? With your [product or service], you always feel like you’re discovering something new and exciting when you make a recipe. Other brands may let you try out various dishes, but your product allows you to fully personalise each meal so that it becomes a celebration of food and drink.”

Notice how each example is slightly different but all of them include food and drink. This is intentional because food-related metaphors and analogies are usually the most effective when used in an email pitch. In particular, bear in mind that people who regularly consume food pitches often respond well to these types of messages. At the end of the day, you can use this type of content to highlight the benefits your product or service offers over the competition. Moreover, you can also use this type of messaging to encourage people to try out your product or service. After all, if you ask me, food is the best way to build trust.

3. Short Anecdote About A Real Person Who Uses Or Is Using Your Product Or Service

If you’ve ever shopped at Nordstrom, you may have heard of their customer experience survey where they ask customers to rate their shopping experience in various categories. Afterward, the company reviews the results and looks for trends. One of the categories is “Services received“. According to Nordstrom, the most effective method of encouraging repeat business is by providing excellent customer service. To further convince potential customers to try out your product or service, you can use the results of customer surveys to pinpoint areas where your company excels and areas where you can improve. Then, you can create an anecdote about a real person who uses or is using your product or service to illustrate the value it adds to their life.

Scroll to Top